Is it weird that I sort of like taking up more space in the world? When I was supper skinny (and supper sick), I felt like I was almost not there. Like I might be fitting into a certain type of mold that would be accepted by everyone, but not really noticed by anyone. Now that I am a healthy weight, with all of the lumps and bumps that go with that, I feel like I have more of a presence; that I am more of a real person somehow, moving through the world curvy and pretty and happy.
If I pick myself apart, each piece looks too big or too squishy or too imperfect, but if I look at myself as a whole, I think I look really beautiful and soft. I don’t feel like I look like just any girl trying to fade into the background, I feel like a lovely woman who doesn’t look like anyone else; who just looks like me.
It’s not like I suddenly think I look more beautiful than anyone else, I just feel like I have my own sort of loveliness that is only mine and not like anyone else, so why compare? I don’t think I am perfect, I just think I am myself, and I am more than just okay with that, I am happy about that. Maybe some people think I looked better before. Some people cannot understand that not everyone is happiest when they are restricting their bodies. That is fine. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But I read a quote once that really stuck with me and it goes something like this: Other people’s opinions are none of my business.
So I am going to stay on my quest to be the healthiest, happiest version of myself, and I am going to realize that part of being healthy is accepting yourself for whatever you are, and loving yourself for it too. I am a part of this world. I am supposed to take up space in it.
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