Pooping is still funny, just to be clear

My biggest goal for the day is to make sure my poop runs clear so that when the Dr puts the camera up my butt he will be able to see what is going on up there.  This is what 90 % of my life is about; what is going on up my butt.

I don't really mind talking about this stuff, but you need to learn to "know your audience", which I totally don't.  I will tell anyone who asks that I am getting a camera up my butt, which is pretty weird if not put in context first.  Honestly, sometimes I totally forget that for most people, this is not a totally normal, almost mundane, occurrence.  So let me break it down for you: It's like the inside of my butt is a celebrity for Dr's.  Everyone wants to have a look. It's like, no big deal or anything, but my butt is kind of famous. I'm not conceited about it or anything.  That would be ungracious.

Honestly, when you have a disease like Crohns, you can either feel really, really sorry for yourself, or you can remember that everyone poops (apparently with less fanfare than me I grant you) and everyone likes to pretend that they don't, and that in itself is pretty funny, and also gives me another reason to feel smug and better than the masses, which I enjoy.  I mean, I'm totally accepting of my pooping and therefore totally enlightened.

So today I will wait for the precious moment when my poop finally runs clear (I'm so going to pass the "is your poop clear enough" test today, by the way.  Because I got mad laxative skills ya'll) and realize that when all you are expected to do for a whole day is have clear poop, life isn't really that hard after all.  The whole camera in the butt thing (it's called a Colonoscopy if you want to get all technical) is so old hat to me, I don't even care anymore.  I mean, I get put out for it so technically, I don't even  have to be there past a certain point.  This is really the Dr's problem more than mine.  And that is why they get paid the big bucks, because who wants to have that be their day?  Not me, says the girl who has mastered the art of clear poop.  Not me.

Also, you should know that I almost write something like this on Facebook every single day, and that is why I've decided to start writing in this blog again.  Simply so I  don't have to put stuff like this on Facebook and make everyone (who actually knows me) uncomfortable with how hilarious my life/ disease can be.  Your welcome Facebook or Blogosphere.  I can't decide who should be more grateful.